Pass Schultz a beer… It’s time for Uncle Jerry’s Points of Interest
Back-to-back, yinz. I mean, it’s crazy to think that I’m saying that again! The last time this happened, Lemieux and Jagr were rockin’ the best Pittsburgh hairstyle there ever was! Back in the early ‘90’s, I was drinking Icehouse in my basement without a twitter machine to tell the world how I felt. All I had was my cousin Donnie… and he was too drunk on Icehouse to even pronounce Recchi.
What a run, am’I’right?
From knowing we didn’t have Letang, to losing Murray, to MAF standing on his head against Columbus and the jagoffs in D.C., to Guentzel going from Happy Gilmore’s caddy to one of the best playoff rookies of all time, to Sid proving to the world that he is the best in the game and Mount Yinzmore-worthy, we all watched in amazement how this crew climbed the mountain and hoisted the cup in a town built on heartbreak songs.
I know I ranted about Nashville last week, but how annoying were those hillbillies? Hey, guess what, Nashville? You’re not a hockey town if you boo the Stanley Cup Champions. You’re not a hockey town until you realize that the refs are always gonna suck - you’re not the first to get screwed by them. You’re not a hockey town. Call Detroit, apologize for stealing their octopus gag, and ask what a real hockey town looks like.
How awesome is the Stanley Cup, too? For one, it’s the hardest trophy to win in sports, but it has to be the BEST trophy in sports. Picture all the other trophies - NBA, MLB, PGA, even the Lombardi - they all pale in comparison to the majesty that is Sir Stanley’s cup.
Then look at the side-by-side comparison of Sid walking into the locker room holding the cup over his head getting blasted by champagne NEXT TO Kevin Durant smashing two Bud Lights together while wearing safety goggles. Are you skiing or celebrating, Kevin?
Speaking of celebrating, can we talk about how hard our players went at the parade? I mean, Schultz became a meme in 19 minutes. Within 19 minutes he was photoshopped into every historical picture chugging a beer. Someone get Olli Maatta some aloe, because he is as red as a lobster after passing out on his balcony post-parade.
650,000 people packed downtown to send this message to the Penguins: We know what you did despite injuries and hardships. We know how much heart it took to win 16 games. We know how annoying Nashville can be. We know how awful Ovechkin is. We have mad respect. So, let’s do what Pittsburgh does in these situations: DRINK. HARD.
Lastly, how much do you love and respect Marc Andre Fleury? He’s like your favorite shop teacher, favorite coach and favorite captain all rolled into one. He is the antithesis of what your typical athlete is nowadays. It’s sad to see him go to Vegas, but the lesson he taught us all of selflessness will never be forgotten.
I mean, I find myself most nights since we won the cup thinking “Man, I just wanna watch more hockey!” If Sid didn’t throw at the first pitch, I would have totally forgot that the Buccos were still a thing.
That’s it for now. I guess I have to figure out what Super Bucco Run is before we talk again.
Oh, don’t let anyone forget: Phil Kessel is still a Stanley Cup Champ.