An Ode to Summer in Da 'Burgh

Grab a used envelope
Keep it dry, don't lick it
Time for a quick poem
On Uncle Jerry’s Points of Interest
 
It’s summertime in da ‘Burgh
So let’s do a cannonball
In a town where we say yinz
And never say ya’ll
 
Where we have four seasons
Here’s a brief introduction:
Stiller season, Penguin season
Winter and Construction
 
Summer, though, is in the air
It doesn’t smell so stale
Soak up the sun
Get rid of that Pittsburgh Pale
 
Head dahn to the crick
If you ain’t a city guy
Unless it’s Zambelli Fireworks
On the Fourth of July
 
Grab your fedora
And head to Arts Fest
Stare at the hipsters
In their Goodwill checkered vests
 
Wanna go catch a Buccos game?
That could be kinda fun
Grab some Manny’s Bar-B-Q
And watch the Pierogis run
 
Go dahn to the Pens parade
And join everyone
Come on, let’s celebrate
Getting one for the thumb
 
Then there’s Sandcastle and Kennywood
That’s where summer happens
Unless you’re a broke yinzer
Then you’re heading to Settler’s Cabin
 
The good old wave pool
 It’s a true yinzer’s dream
‘Till the warning bell rings
And all the kids scream
 
If you ain't got two nickels
To massage together
Go to the Point Fountain
And stay there forever
 
One day, act like a tourist
Plan to wine and dine
Lots of fancy places in Station Square
Then up the Incline
 
Even better than that
You could pretend yinz’er 25
Bar hop on Carson
All along the South Side
 
We could all crowd in
And head out to Star Lake
DMB is back
Get there early to tailgate
 
Let's go over to Oakland
I know without a doubt
Soldiers and Sailors lawn
Is where the bikinis hang out
 
Or how about Rib Fest!?
The sauce is spicy and sweet
The Clarks will be there
Such a Pittsburgh treat!
 
Better drink in the summer
Because you know it won't last
Those two and a half  months
Sure seem to go fast
 
The kids will be back in school
And the wind will turn cold
The focus will turn then
To the mighty black and gold

 

Uncle Jerry Signature


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